This was a good day..

“God’s hears… even when it’s just a whisper of the heart.”

… I’ve been a million times on mission trips as Translator.
And you have no idea of how hard it is to be serving God with great love when you don’t even love yourself.
When you don’t even love God that much.. I know that’s deep.
But you now what.. I have felt a million stuff, angry, sadness, happiness etc. In the bed that I go to sleep for a whole week in whatever trip I’m in.
What I’m trying to say is that we come and serve a God that has sent us to love and give out to the ones in need. But sometimes I’ve wonder…how can I serve when I’m not even on a good spot with my relationship with God??
I’m not reading my bible, I’m not having my time praying and talking to God, I may not even be worshiping Him with my actions.
So… we come and share the gospel, worship God at church every night or on sundays and we go and talk about a God that’s supposedly is there hearing you and helping you out.. even when you don’t see he’s been hearing.
Yes I said supposedly. You now why? Because all of those days and not only on mission trips but and my own bed before I fell sleep..I’ve felt that God dosen’t hear me.. that he has forgotten about me. How can he been listening me when nothing change? I’m still suffering, I’m still having anxiety, depression. My family’s still not together, I’m alone even when “you’re the happiest person ever, you must have a lot of friends!”.. and way more.
And all of that together makes me overwhelmed and don’t now what to do.
I’ve drifted apart so much from God because of that. That I don’t even now what to do, how to talk to him, how to worship him anymore…
So I just start thinking and thinking… how God..how? Why have you forsaken me?
That’s a real feeling..
When I’m in the mission trip compound I always choose the same bed over and over again. And today I decided I wasn’t going to a free time activity and decided to take a break. I took a shower, did my hair, painted my nails and when I was getting into bed I saw a sticker on my bed. The same bed I go to every week
How put it there? Since when has it been there? How couldn’t I read it before?
That single phrase touched my heart in a way you can’t imagine.
I do know God hears me.. I’ve have just forgotten.
God hears you, God listens to you! GOD loves you and he is so powerful that he hears you when you cry, he hears when you are silent and just thinking how and how your gonna get out of there. He listens even when is just a whisper from the heart.
So don’t panic don’t stress, don’t locked yourself out from letting God knowing how you feel.